In this article we explore how language and self talk impact our ability to motivate ourselves, achieve at high levels and live the life we deserve. We also look at 5 popular dis-empowering words and phrases and replace them with empowering words and phrases to support motivation, success, love, gratitude and achievement.
Let’s get straight to it.
Our actions create our life… Agree? Our thoughts create our actions…. Agree? Our thoughts are communicated to us in the form of language…. Agree? So…how can we live our largest, most expressive and most loving life if we are using vocabulary that makes us smaller, weaker and discouraged.
Do you know anybody, maybe even yourself, who loves to use phrases like: “This only happens to me”, “Life’s a b*tch“, “I caaaaaaaaan’t!”, “Never!”, “I just can’t win”, “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t”.
The biggest problem with these phrases is not that they are negative or self centered, it’s that they stop you from taking action. Phrases like this paralyze us and fool us into thinking that we have no power and no choice. Which is nonsense.
I’ve created a list of some of the top five words and phrases you might want to delete from your vocabulary. I also included some replacements!
1. I can’t
You’re right! If you say you can’t, it’s over. Just that simple. The door is closed and locked. However, maybe you’re right. Maybe at this moment you can’t run 3 miles at once, maybe you can’t complete the project in 3 hours, maybe you can’t immediately forgive someone. With that said, you must learn to. I must learn, I will learn, I’m preparing myself to...is a much more empowering phrase that will propel you to take action, take risks and grow.
There is no failure, only feedback – only results. You might not get the results you want, but don’t confuse that with failure. And, please don’t ever confuse yourself with your results. You are never a failure but you are always learning. I’m learning, is a much more empowering phrases that let’s you know you are aware of the current results and also shows that you are invested in figuring out a way to get the desired outcome. Learning produces growth, while believing in failure produces hopelessness and stress.
3. I’m overwhelmed
Give yourself more credit! You are stronger and more durable than you think. You are not overwhelmed…you are in high demand! Doesn’t that feel so much better. Your self, school, family, boss, business and friends all need a lot from you because you have so much to give – give it. Being in high demand develops character and also helps you learn to prioritize. You might be challenged, you might be put to the test, you might be busy, but you are way too strong to be overwhelmed!
Stop. Stop! Stop! Please stop building a case against yourself. Stop rationalizing your excuses, procrastination or lack of productivity. “I want to do this but…” “I have always wanted to_________ but…” Stop making it so easy to talk yourself out of action. If you didn’t do something you said you would, or didn’t do something that you wanted to – own it, adjust, and move on. Don’t make excuses or rationales with the word ‘but’ because as we know, when we tell ourselves the same thing over and over again…we start to believe it. Don’t talk yourself out of your highest life.
5. I hate
Hate – a negative emotions that distorts judgement, tenses muscles, shortens breathing and puts us in a weak state of mind. Let’s not overreact and let’s focus on the positive. Why HATE peanuts, liars and traffic when we can prefer almonds, honesty and freedom. I prefer, is clear way of saying what you like, dislike and expect. I prefer is also empowering and will always lead the conversation or experience in a positive direction.